Probably five or so years ago I read this book and I loved it. This time? Not so much. I think all parenting books (or at least all of the ones I've read so far) lay on the guilt. This one does some of that but what is getting to me most is that I find the author using scripture to back up his point and he's stretching it. That's only happened in 1 or 2 places but it caught my attention. My friend also mentioned that the book makes it to seem that if you follow this certain equation then your child will be a happy, well adjusted adult. But if you don't follow his equation, you're raising the next drug dealer. I have found that in other parenting books as well. As I've started to get more into the actual love languages they seem like good reminder chapters but nothing super earth shattering or new. It's an easy read though and I still can use the reminders so I'm not giving up!
"It seems that many parents are unaware of how much their children need to be touched and how easily they can use this means to keep their children's emotional tanks filled with unconditional love." 32
A Young Child's Need for Touch
Some examples of physical touch for younger kids-hugs and kisses, tossing a child into the air, spinning, reading, wresting on the floor, riding piggyback, and cuddling, etc.
"...all children need the hugs and caresses of adults to feel the truth of 'I love you'." 33
Touch through the Growing Years
"The fact is that the more parents keep the emotional tank full, the healthier the child's self-esteem and sexual identity will be." 35
"Therefore, home should be a haven, the place where love is secure." 35 No big shocker there.
A Child's Approaching Adolescence
"As the child grows, the emotional love tank also grows and keeping it full becomes more difficult." 36 I got tired just reading that statement.
"During the preadolescent stage, girls have a particular need for expressions of love from their fathers. Unlike boys, the importance of being assured of unconditional love increases for girls and seems to reach a zenith around the age of 11." 37
"It is critical that she feel valuable as a female." 37
"Girls with strong and healthy self-esteem and sexual identity can better stand against negative peer pressure." 38 That makes sense to me.
"A teenage girl needs the hugs and kisses of her father; and if he withdraws, she will likely seek physical touch from another male and often in an unwholesome manner." 38
When Your Child's Primary Love Language is Touch
"When you use physical touch with these children, your message of love will come through loud and clear." 40
"Conversely, if you use physical touch as an expression of anger or hostility, you will hurt these children very deeply." 40 Not so sure on that.
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1 comment:
Not sure about all the love language business, but I have noticed the girls initiating more physical touch stuff recently. So maybe there's something to that part, at least.
Thanks for the book summaries, hon. We could still try to revive my "rear in brief" book summary service :)
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